Monday, October 13, 2014

Every Tommy Must Get Stoned

Regular visitors here know, the Posse gets Elevenses every day at 11 am. Beagles being a British breed, we offer them some bits of English civilization now and then. Not that they feel inclined to reciprocate with anything approaching civilization.

As with all things Posse, benefits soon become expectations. If the benefits involve food, they are permanently stamped onto the Tummy Clock. And then, as with all things Posse, the Tummy Clock inches backwards a bit each day.

So, it was posse common for the two to show up in front of me at 10:40 with a look of entitled expectation. In fact, Tommy let drip a small strand of drool, just to make sure I knew the reason for the stares.

I waved them away, and said, “Not time yet, guys.”

They walked off.

The next thing I knew, Tommy was lying on the carpet at my feet, and crunching something. Anytime you hear a beagle crunch, you need to check what is crackling. Among other losses has been an MP3 player. (Eating the music machine doesn't seem to have improved the beagle taste in music, but that's another tale.)

I discovered that Tommy was crunching on a rock from the back yard. “Tommy, what the heck.........?”

“I was just SOOOOOO hungry. It's been like forever since you fed us.”

“Tommy, did you get a big bowl of breakfast at 6 am?”

“That was hours and hours ago. You haven't fed us in SOOOOO LOOOONNNNGGG.”

“And, Tommy, didn't you steal a piece of toast off my breakfast plate at 8 am?”

“That doesn't count, it wasn't MY food.”

“Then, didn't you get a handful of chicken jerky bits during our training session at 9:30?”

“I worked every bit of that off in the training.”

“Really? We were working on “sit” and “lie down”.”

“Yeah, exhausting.”

“Tommy, it seems to me you've been noshing all morning.”

“How'd YOU like to have to go that long between eating?”

“So, you went out and got a rock to gnaw on?”

“Just to tide me over.”

“Yeah, and break your teeth.”

“No more often than you feed us, I don't need teeth.”

“WHAT!??”

“Ohhhhhh, I'm weak, and SOOOOO HUNGRY.”

“Dummy, you managed to waste the 20 minutes until time for Elevenses. Here you go.”

(Tommy runs off with his dog biscuit. Little does he know that the MAIN reason for daily Elevenses is to help keep his teeth clean.)

“Tuppence, Tuppence, I did it, I got him to give us 'levenses early.”

“Yeah, Tommy,” I said, “about one minute early.”

“We win, we win, we win.”

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