Tommy strolled through humming. His
pitch wasn't very good, but then I have no way of judging how good
beagle intonation usually is.
“Tommy, what's that noise.”
“Now that we're getting more well known on the interwebs, Tuppence and I have decided the Beagle Posse needs a theme song.”
“You've been using our collection of Broadway music to find one, haven't you?”
“We found one.”
“If you mean that version of the Lion King theme you are humming, I don't think you've found it yet. A lion is a cat, you know.”
“A cat?”
“Tommy, what's that noise.”
“Now that we're getting more well known on the interwebs, Tuppence and I have decided the Beagle Posse needs a theme song.”
“You've been using our collection of Broadway music to find one, haven't you?”
“We found one.”
“If you mean that version of the Lion King theme you are humming, I don't think you've found it yet. A lion is a cat, you know.”
“A cat?”
“A cat.”
Tuppence rushed in, “How about “Don't Rain on My Parade” from FUNNY GIRL?”
“Well, I know you don't like rain, Tuppy. You won't go out for 'bidness' in it.”
Tommy snapped, “Too girly. Too girly. I want, “When You're a Jet,” from WEST SIDE STORY.” He began what he thought was a street-wise, manly swagger. (Tommy is always concerned about his Street Cred. Or Patio Cred, since he isn't allowed in the street.)
I said, “Tommy, boy, I don't think you can pull that off. An important part of the performance is finger clicks. Look at your front paws. You don't have the digital arrangement to snap fingers.”
“OK, OK. Then something from PORGY AND BESS. It's as classic as are we.”
“Yeah, 'Summertime,” said Tuppence. “Our favoritest time. Full of squirrels, chipmunks, birds, and a warm outdoor bathroom.”
“No, jazzier,” said Tommy. “How's 'bout, “ 'Tain't Necessarily So'? Like Sportin' Life sings it. Then we'll look like intellectual agnostics.”
“Tommy, I don't think anything is going to make you look intellectual. Especially not a song filled with bad grammar.”
“We'll look smart compared to the chihuahua up the street.”
“Our mailbox looks smart compared to that pooch.”
Tuppence is musing. “Come to think of it, the Labradors kind of claim all rights to theme songs from PORGY AND BESS.”
Tuppence rushed in, “How about “Don't Rain on My Parade” from FUNNY GIRL?”
“Well, I know you don't like rain, Tuppy. You won't go out for 'bidness' in it.”
Tommy snapped, “Too girly. Too girly. I want, “When You're a Jet,” from WEST SIDE STORY.” He began what he thought was a street-wise, manly swagger. (Tommy is always concerned about his Street Cred. Or Patio Cred, since he isn't allowed in the street.)
I said, “Tommy, boy, I don't think you can pull that off. An important part of the performance is finger clicks. Look at your front paws. You don't have the digital arrangement to snap fingers.”
“OK, OK. Then something from PORGY AND BESS. It's as classic as are we.”
“Yeah, 'Summertime,” said Tuppence. “Our favoritest time. Full of squirrels, chipmunks, birds, and a warm outdoor bathroom.”
“No, jazzier,” said Tommy. “How's 'bout, “ 'Tain't Necessarily So'? Like Sportin' Life sings it. Then we'll look like intellectual agnostics.”
“Tommy, I don't think anything is going to make you look intellectual. Especially not a song filled with bad grammar.”
“We'll look smart compared to the chihuahua up the street.”
“Our mailbox looks smart compared to that pooch.”
Tuppence is musing. “Come to think of it, the Labradors kind of claim all rights to theme songs from PORGY AND BESS.”
She continued, “Lot's of good choices
from FIDDLER ON THE ROOF.”
Tommy began to shudder. “No way! I'm
not getting the operation to be a Jewish dog.”
“Well,” I said, “it can't be worse than the one you already had.”
“You caught me by surprise on that one.”
“Hey,” I said, “How about Sondheim? I think ;Send in the Clowns' would be the perfect theme for you two.”
Tuppence began a low growl. “You do remember our teeth, don't you?”
“Well,” I said, “it can't be worse than the one you already had.”
“You caught me by surprise on that one.”
“Hey,” I said, “How about Sondheim? I think ;Send in the Clowns' would be the perfect theme for you two.”
Tuppence began a low growl. “You do remember our teeth, don't you?”
“All right. Bad idea. Let's work this
through with logic. 'Beagle' is a form of an old English term for
bugle, because of the voice you guys have. And you DO use that voice.
A bugle is a brass horn. And, after you steal slices of pizza, you
make other, deeper toots that come from your other 'speaker'. You
make stereo music. So, the perfect Broadway song theme for you two
is, 'Seventy-six Trombones.” I sat back, quite proud of my
reasoning.
The Beagle Posse sniffed in unison, and
just turned and walked dismissively away. I could swear I heard Tommy
begin to hum the theme from JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR. I don't look
forward to a discussion of theology and blasphemy with a brace of
hounds. I also have to figure out how the hell beagles are working an
i-pod.
No comments:
Post a Comment